Haunted Macbook for sale on Ebay (or a fool and his money)

So over the years ive been looking into the world of the odd and strange ive heard about many haunted items, dolls, mirrors and sea chests to name just a few. But a haunted Macbook just about tops them all and you've guessed it folks its for sale on Ebay. The owner who goes by the Ebay user name of Wfatzinger lists the item as follows:

2007 HAUNTED Apple MacBook Laptop Computer

You are bidding on a white, haunted, 13inch 2007 MacBook. There are some small cracks near the front (see photos.) The computer works just fine and comes with OS X 10.6.8. This is a 2 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo, 4GB 667MHz DDR2 SDRAM. The computer works great and may also be haunted by a ghost or specter. (Computer is NOT haunted by a demon or “devil man” negative entity.)

It’s unclear just how this laptop came to be haunted, but I 90% bet it was the time I left it in a graveyard next to an abandoned mental hospital all night by accident. I was doing some sketches in the graveyard (I’m an amateur sketch artist) and I brought the computer with me to play some music while I honed my craft. Anyway, I woke up the next morning and realized I’d forgotten the dang thing there in the graveyard!

I found (much to my relief) that the computer was just where I had left it, propped open and still playing a Beethoven song I like. The speakers on this machine put out a lot of bass for being so small.

How do I "know" the computer is haunted?

Well, I took the computer home (still in perfect working condition) and, folks, this is when things started to get downright weird. First, I noticed that ALL of my songs in iTunes had become scary or haunted. Second, the desktop background was changed to a scary photo. The following week, we (my wife, Barbie, and I) noticed some of our stuff around the house had been mysteriously rearranged. One night, we went out to dinner with my wife’s parents and their friends and some people from my wife’s work and some of their parents. When we came home, my baseball cards were all out of order and my wife’s rare American coins were in total disarray. To make matters spookier, I occasionally saw the computer levitating. In some cases the screen and keyboard would open and shut quickly, as though the computer were attempting to speak.

Evidence of Spirit World Activity

Notable Facts: Not only was there a full moon on the night I left the laptop in the graveyard, but there were also reports of an eerie green fog in the area, which people said caused them to feel a sense of intense nostalgia. I later read that there was an anomalous electrical storm near that selfsame evening. Furthermore, there were police reports of a terrifying old crone capering through a contiguous neighborhood, setting trash cans ablaze and chanting incantations or curses, laughing and shrieking and brandishing a sharpened axe with a pentagram carved into the hilt. I’m NOT a computer expert, so I’m not sure which of these anomalous entities might have precipitated the haunting, but I thought it best to include all here.

Effects of Haunting

It was about a week later that the computer began to compose messages. You probably think the computer opened up a word doc and started tip-tap-typing away all by itself like some kind of 21st century player piano. No, friends. The way he communicates with us is by grasping a pen between the keyboard and monitor and writing on pieces of printer paper from our home office. (See photo.) As such, I am given to believe that this ghost may have lived in a time before computers, for he appears to be quite unaware of the purpose of the machine he inhabits.

Attempts to “Cleanse” the Spirit

Even though the computer was working just fine (there’s plenty of RAM for most things you’re going to want to do), I decided to take it to the computer store to get it checked out. The so-called “geniuses” behind the counter were unable to help me with my problem. I showed them the written notes from the ghost, as well as some of my own sketches. Not only had they "never seen anything like it," but they soon asked me to leave and even had me escorted off the premises by a security guard! How’s that for hospitality?

Exiting the computer store (without a security guard escort thank-you very much!) I noticed a neon sign on the far end of the shopping plaza. A psychic medium! What a fortuitous coincidence. Perhaps the medium could help me interpret the ghost’s deranged spectral transmissions, I thought. So, I took the laptop in and Madame Magnifique Capacité de l'esprit examined it. She placed it in the center of her table and had me sit across from her. We held hands as she recited a special psychic's poem. The lights flickered and some scary music played on hidden speakers. When that was over, she said “I believe this computer is haunted.”

She sold me some special (and expensive!) incense to burn around the computer just before bedtime. She suggested I sing to the computer. It sounds weird, but this seemed to help at least pacify the tormented soul. The computer remains haunted, but he became more peaceful and even helpful at times. This first became apparent when I came home from getting a massage and noticed that the computer had vacuumed the den. He even wrote me a note telling me that he loved me.

A week later, I thought to go back to the psychic and ask her to sign a “Certificate of Haunting” I drafted up in Microsoft Office, thus providing legal “proof of haunting.” However, when I returned to the shopping plaza I found Madame’s storefront… had vanished! In its place I found a store that sold leather cell phone holsters. What crummy luck! The guy who worked there gave me no information about Madame’s whereabouts and, after listening to my whole sob-story about the haunted computer, gave me a good deal on a black leather holster with an embossed image of Yosemite Sam on the front. It’s great because it fits on my belt and I won’t have to dig around in my pockets for my cell phone anymore. 

Benefits of Haunting

After all this rigmarole, I have to say, this ghost has been a source for good in my life and I am sure will make a welcome addition to your family, too. Whether he was giving me a hand cleaning the garage, helping my son (Thames) perform a rap song at a middle school talent show, or acting as a crucial sounding board when Barb and I had that rough patch last autumn, this ghost has been a rock solid friend and constant companion. I don’t know if he’ll ever be freed from the corporeal bonds of this perfectly adequate, if a bit worn, 2007 Apple MacBook with 2 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo, 4GB 667MHz DDR2 SDRAM, but either way his friendship has been invaluable and he continues to run OS 10.6.8 (Snow Leopard) just fine, if a bit slow by the standards of more current computers.

The laptop works great. We just need to clear out space around the house and decided to get rid of this (haunted) laptop. Sorry, but the unit is missing the power cord and I no longer have the OS X CD. There are some minor scratches on the exterior. Selling As-Is. Seller takes no responsibility for consequences of ghost-related haunting, negative or positive.

Items Included

• Certificate of Haunting (I’ve signed the document, imagining what Madame’s signature might look like, had she signed it)
• Haunted Music (in iTunes)
• Ghostly Photos (In folder on desktop)
• Several Edgar Allan Poe stories pasted into text docs on the desktop 
• Collected Ghostly Writings from the ghost with a pen and paper
• Some of my better sketches (of graves)